I wish for a better future; I shall work for it.

I have listed some of the things that I wish that I can get and it turns out that I still didn't get any of it. I didn't blame anyone for this *since I am always blames every single person around me if I didn't get what I want but for this time, I blame myself for not putting my effort to get what I want. So, what did I want?

I want to study abroad. YES. 

I have always wanted to go study overseas since in Form 1. It is such a great pleasure for me to get the opportunity to go somewhere as long as it is not located in Malaysia. I just want to see different cultures, go and travel for more new things and experiences. But I guessed that my effort is just not enough. And I wish that I have double and triple my effort before. As after my SPM I wish that I could continue my degree in Dublin, Ireland and I failed. After matric I still wish to continue my degree somewhere overseas and yet again I failed my matric and my dreams. 

Until then, my dreams have just fade away until this evening, I saw one of my friend posted her pictures pursuing her master study in Manchester. Gila kau tak jeles? I think this my time. I need to accomplish my dream and continue my study in the other side of world. 

and I pray really hard, also work for my dream.

Totally Possesive

yayy. being writing my blog again. pftttt. after hmm about a year. yes, a year! now, i'm done with my PSM. yup. i'm done with my psm and i got an a for my final year project. wohooo! Alhamdulillah *praise to Allah ;) and and and i finally got 3.66 for my final semester. well, at least i could feel how getting dean list is all about *which is feel nothing sbb i won't be receiving awards pn. sobss. but still, i got to cross out some of my wishlist! 

but now, i had finished all my classes, labs, assignments and etc and i have started my internship for about 2 moths already. i feel so insecure about my position. well yeah, since i'm not 'working' at a big company like Petronas *which i had been dreaming for, Gates IT and some more other big company. It just that i felt like, where is my chance to prove that I can do it? Where is the chance for me to shine? I really want to get the opportunity to work at those big company. I just want to try the environment! I just want it so damn much! But, thinking about it again, do I really want to go there because I want because I am qualified enough? Or maybe because I can be proud on where do I did my internship so that I can be proud of myself compared to my friends. Astaghfirullah *I ask Allah forgiveness. However, I still really hope that I can go to a company like that. I just want to feel how is it to be working in a big company with such great people. I just want to feel the rush. *sighhh. I hope that Allah will give me an opportunity to go and work there, someday. Or He might have other better plan for me. Might be. InsyaAllah *If Allah wills it.